Simple Denial

Life in America offers an option not available in much of the world -- we can be simple-minded in our self indulgence. Like the wars necessitated by our compulsive need for oil, we are an ocean away from the actual costs of our conveniences. It takes some intellectual, moral dilligence to build an association in one's mind between the clean, easy-to-use gas pump at the local happy filling station with the blood arms and legs of those in countries affected by strife over this precious resource we so easily expend.

Likewise, my son recently told me he doesn't eat chocolate. I LOVE chocolate so had not really given any thought to its cost to others, only to myself ($ at the store). Now I'm challenged to own the reality - can I enjoy chocolate harvested by child labor? Can I taste sweetness when it costs sweat, tears, freedom of children in the Ivory Coast? Of course not - but I have been. In a world that offers us unlimited access to information, we also have unlimited access to ample amusements with which to fill our heads so we are unencumbered by harsh realities we wish to avoid.

Shame on me. Thank you, Josh, for the wake up call. Free trade products shift more cost to me, but reduce the human cost on the unseen side of the process. That's more than fair - it's necessary.

Skin or Heart? Which will you harden?

Wayne and I were chatting about a difficult work situation and the ease with which he now is able to handle such customer problems. I noted he has thicker skin by far than when he first began as a professional. The undertow of the words leaving my mouth seemed to pull in a more important thought -- the thickening of his skin has protected his heart from hardening.

Once observed, it seems rather obvious: in life, if we do not develop thick skins to protect our soft hearts, we are in danger of our hearts, then, hardening to protect themselves.

Perhaps this thought will help change my response to hardhearted behavior, thinking of how the hardness I witness may have been formed through unprotected vulnerability, rather than intentionality.

Simple self-delusion

I'm not sure you want to read this - but it's the way my brain works. I've been thinking alot about self-delusion....and, living in the city, also thinking alot about cockroaches. The thoughts converged in my head in the shower and I realized how similar the two things are. They are both disgusting, create damage, skitter around the edges of our lives unseen (for the most part) and remain unrecognized until they are a BIG problem.

Example 1: I quit smoking three times in my life. Once should have been enough, but having successfully quit, the little creepy notion that I now had control over cigarettes and could, therefore, have just one skittered into the edges of my mind and soon propagated and .... set me up to need to quit again. Second time - same thing. Third time: DUH!! I learned!!!

Example 2: Having eaten well for the last several years (eliminating fake foods and sugars, for the most part), I let the changes of our recent move allow me to make my eating habits less of a concern than the more compelling problems of, for example, which shelf should I keep the extra rags on? We ate "out" alot...and often had dessert. I didn't see a big change in the bathroom scale, could still wear the same clothes (for the most part), could still walk and talk so it must have been OK... skitter, skitter.... The self-delusion that what I was doing had no impact crept into my consciousness without my noticing and propagated into a problem!! Back to square one.

Example 3: People we love who find their alcohol consumption getting out of hand, back off completely and prove to themselves they are in control and do not have a problem - therefore, they can have a drink because it isn't a problem for them any more - like it used to be. Skitter, Skitter, Skitter.

I'm not sure where the analogy goes from here - but in order to keep the actual cockroaches from invading your home, you have to be vigilant about anything that feeds them (and it doesn't take much nourishment for a cockroach to survive!) I'm sure it's the same with self-delusions. Really, do we think just because we don't see the plaque in our arteries building up, eating all those carbs and fats is OK? You can't feel the blood sugar rising, so it must not be a problem...

Actual little cockroaches can also creep in from neighbors' dwellings and it behoves us to seal and caulk where feasible. Probably there's a peer pressure analogy. I know with the first time I failed to remain a non-smoker, it just took one good friend and one very bad day to allow that habit to skitter back into my life.

So, hopefully, none of us will suffer from infestations of critters or delusions in 2012. If we do, the sooner we can recognize them and take steps to eradicate them, the better. One thing's certain: left alone, both only get stronger and more difficult to control.

Simple joy of family....

I don't know what is universal to share - but as a personal note I just want to say how very much I love my family. Everyone is gathering - everyone is happy to see each other. We're crowding into a 2-bedroom apartment, eschewing the opportunity to have some sleep across the street at a hotel, because no one wants to be separate. So out comes the air mattress and extra sheets for the couch!!

With togetherness our agenda, it matters little what we plan "to do". "Doing" is so very secondary to "being". The doing will include (of course) cooking and eating, waiting for the next to arrive, followed by some surprises in the stockings and one gift for/from each (drew names this year).

In wishing you a Merry Christmas, I don't choose to be politically correct in my language because the holiday is about love, by whatever construct one defines it. Setting aside time to be together creates a holiday of tremendous magnitude. Simply joyous.

Simple is as simple does...

Joe and I were up until 2 a.m. working a jigsaw and gabbing. Lesson observed: in the jigsaw puzzle of life, if you take care of the obvious, the inscrutible becomes less so.

Simply city....

So now we live in the city. I can tell because it's never dark and never quiet. There's a sense that whatever "IT" is, it's never done - always in process. I've been varying degrees of sick with a cold for the last month, and struggling to understand what's kicking my usually robust immune system. My conclusion is what I just mentioned - not yet finding my sense of accomplishment.

Of course, country living is no different. One season's tasks roll right into the next season's responsibilities and round and round it goes. But at least there are touch-points in that lifestyle where you feel - DONE! Perhaps that's why everyone local feels compelled to share the number of quarts and pints they canned during harvest time. Something done, counted, put away. In the winter, the driveway is shovelled/not shovelled. It may not last long, but there is a moment when that chore is DONE. Pruning...DONE. Planting...DONE. Over time, those moments of accomplishment can get swallowed up in a sense of circular repetition, but they are there and you grasp them!

My new job is developmental - building a new business. Orders received give that momentary feeling - DONE! But worrying about the nebulous task of identifying and meeting shifting market needs, risking stale merchandise vs amply stocking for immediate needs, etc.... Not yet much sense of DONE at work.

At home --- what can I say!! To get a sense of DONE, I need to break it into smaller portions. But to find a place for the bikes means finding shelving for CDs so library bookshelf can move to a spot already occupied by items needing to be shifted somewhere else once that somewhere else is created...~~~

When it comes right down to it, my sense of accomplishment may need to be completely separate. Knit a scarf - DONE! Put together a jigsaw puzzle - DONE! Sew a bed skirt - DONE! Perhaps, for the sake of my immune system, I should complicate life a little by adding in small finite tasks which have beginnings with ends in sight.

Maybe MORE is the new LESS, when it's all said and done.

Simple Self-Deception

We recently made the choice to complicate our lives and move to the city. Ironically, to do so, we had to undergo a huge process of simplification. After 15 years in the same large house with 2-story barn, we had accumulated a large quanitity of the detritus from postponed decision-making and a fair amount of self-deception. After grueling days of multiple garage sales, dozens of trips to drop items off at the Goodwill, multiple loads of tonnage to the recycling center, we spent 2 days loading a 26' Penzke truck to the brim and moved into our 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the city. No more yard to mow or rake. No more snow to shovel. No more self-deception. Our newest acquisition was the humbling awareness that simplicity is actually hard work. It requires honesty, courage and boldness as well as persistent endeavor. Quiet retreat from the challenges at hand is no substitute for the joy of accomplishing true simplicity.